There is no Society, the Laws are all bumper stickers/There is no God, the Bible is a story book

Many people find it peculiar to believe in things that cannot be proven by the senses.  I find it is more curious the things that people can see and examine that are not real but is still very much believed to exist.  I often fall into this deep wave of thought about race.  Race, this fake thing that in fact does not exist but is a social construction that has thus far mainly served to segregate, dehumanize, paranoy, alienate, all in all manipulate.  Not to say that the race lie has not served any positive functions, like identifying people more prone to certain diseases so they may choose to adjust their lifestyle accordingly (it took me the span of writing this whole thing to think of that), but by far the cons seem to dominate the pros.  My point is this, this pretend thing that only seems to cause destruction is accepted as a real and factual thing by EVERYONE.

It got me thinking about another wave that usually engulfs me, what is real? Perception versus Reality, my favorite topic in university, can be viewed from so many stand points, psychological, philosophical, biological.  Perhaps these words, locked away in schools or specialized buildings far removed from the common everyday life, make it hard to grasp just how fleeting a concept "real" is.  Have you ever watched a dooms day movie and seen buildings falling, people dying, material culture failing, total disarray.  I notice in these movies people still call on authorities for help, they still obey firefighters and police officers, they look to the government to tell them how to feel about the situation;  in one movie people turned to a security guard to lead them.  We all see this same thing mirrored in real life all the time, be it in attempt to preserve "civilization" or denial of its fragile and constantly threatened existence.  Again, this is not to say that society serves no purpose, in short, it keeps people in check, for all too often perfectly civilized rational men become feral, displaying raw animal instincts when pushed to the edge.

It is my perception that all the things that our society hinges on to stabilize itself is a veil.  Of course its functions work, after all that is why it is accepted as real but more so it serves only the purpose of making people feel secure; comparable to the feeling that there is a God.  Firefighters, police officers, scientists, laws, governments, parishes, countries, these things do not exist.  They are the veil on which our society as we know it is painted, in washable kiddies water colours I might add.

What is society's obsession with authority, for no one or thing has authority if people do not give it to them.  A friend of mine told me that human beings are spiritual by nature, so that if they don't worship a god then they put the same efforts into something else.  Perhaps this is proof that it is innate for us to look to a power we perceive higher than ourselves , though this particular sea of thought is one I have bathed in many times, it did not occur to me until just now.  For who does not want to feel secure, otherwise how could we live our lives in a pragmatic way, our practicality hangs desperately from the impractical and isn't that indicative of how beautifully crazy everything is. It affects even something as personal as our self esteem-- the way we see ourselves.

I don't want to give the facade that this is not about spirituality, it clearly is right? So to be blatant, how can the non-believers judge people who believe in a higher power when they themselves believe in these made up figures of authority; man has just changed from appeasing the Grecian god of war to appeasing governments.  On the same token how can the believers judge those who put their faith in other things when our God affords us the same comforts, it is possible that he is constructed to make us feel secure, to save us from anarchy, after all it is true, religion is the opiate of the people.

I've come to the kind of conclusion that might lead some to believe that I carry a MMIC (medical marijuana identification card), non of this is real, it's all smokes and mirrors and judgey wudgey was a bear. I admit that many times I get self righteous about my beliefs too; this is understandable, we can't help but be passionate about the things that we base our entire existence on, be it God or social structures.  We're all  just trying to live here, let's allow each other to do so without, to borrow John Locke's term, infringing on anyone's inalienable rights.

A Super Power?

Music gives me the amazing ability to transport myself to events that have not yet happened.  All the songs that I have turned into message bottles filled with future memories meant for present reception.

I can't shake this feeling that I have this thick, liquid gold elemental, irrevocable love coming to me, somewhere out there. I feel like I love already, I feel like I am mad already, I feel like I am the south pole longing for the gravitational pull of the north's.  I burn to travel and see parts of the world only touched by God.  You will know I have arrived when I am willing to give up the whole world for you.  I will know you are my north when you say give up nothing.

I am fully aware and accepting that we might  be the same pole of different magnets.  You might have died before this, I may die before then, but just to put it out there, into the existence of everything, I love you now and so without even knowing you once, or it might be the third time, we already have the potential to be the world's most strikingly beautiful tragic thing. 

Perfectly Clueless in Chaos

Even as I just wrote the title above I realized that there just might be a message in my gut wrenching agony. One of my oldest and dearest friends died recently from cancer. I have never had anyone I was so close to die before and my reaction has been so irrational but I guess that's rational.

I had said out loud, before she died, that if she did not beat this thing my views on life would be forever changed. She beat a lot of odds and achieved so much in her short 21 years. It seemed that everything was working out in perfect order (the fact that she worked for the Ministry of Health, who stepped in to help). I was sure that if there was any order in this world she would bounce back from this thing. All the shit this world told us was important was not the things you cherished...your academic success, your career achievements, your financial success. Friendship and family....I know those were your favorite things to talk about :)

On the first of August 2011 I lost one of the most important people in my life. I see now why you would strive always for the pinnacle of spirituality and happiness (and there was no one happier or more light hearted). This is why you always smothered us with I love yous, your spirit knew that yours was going to be a short human experience.

"... so-called chaos may have an actual divine function, even if you personally can't recognize it right now." - (E. Gilbert).

I never thought I could solve the puzzle, but just as I thought I at least had all the pieces... Maybe we are not meant to get comfortable, maybe the lesson is to remain comfortable through him in the chaos of this world. I'm sure of nothing (forever my favorite paradox)

I Love You now and Always... From you i learned to be a good person.

Dear God....You so Sly

I find myself in recent times using my free time (which since my great depression has been all the time), to get to know this amazing chic I'm convinced is a permanent resident in my head. The other day while in deep conversation she revealed, or rather, magnified a fact I learn't many moons ago. The human eye's blind spot, where the optic nerves exit the eye, has always been such a literal, textbook concept for me.

Then I really thought about it, in the type of way that only a Theology class taught by a round jolly priest could allow me to. There is, AT ALL TIMES, a part of our reality that we cannot perceive. Here lies another crumb of the unleavened bread. I have this theory that God reveals the solutions to life's sums through the highly complex equation we call our body. There are so many beauteous lessons to be drawn from this. The one I'm going to go with right now --be wary of the man that knows everything.

Funny Thing About the Dark

The lights are off and I'm hot and frustrated, twisting and turning, hands searching every inch of the space I occupied....SHIT....I lost my hair pin...As I give up all hope of finding this at large hair pin I tie my hair and come to a state of rest.... I can't help but laugh at life's sadistic way of sending us really pertinent messages in some extremely mundane situations. In your darkest hour, you can lose some really vital things, pride, hope, respect, hairpins, EVERYTHING.

A Man in Love

A man in love is something I have never seen up close. This is not to say I myself haven't gone without emoting such feelings. By extension of course I have experienced the paralyzing anguish that follows going down that lonely road...... A man IN love is something I have never seen up close, but I have heard of such things and it sounds like the beautiful things of fairy tales.